SUNDAY SERVICE • FOLLOW YOUR HEART

SUNDAY SERVICE • FOLLOW YOUR HEART

Have you ever considered that what is meant for you is far greater than what you can imagine for yourself?

Let me tell you a story about a girl who got married for all the wrong reasons. [ I’m the girl, it’s me. ]  At 18, I went off to college in Orange County to escape the town my family had moved to when I was 11 years old. I hated it there so much and I thought if I just went back to the beach my life would be better. So my family and I packed my stuff and set me up in Costa Mesa, California. 

I met a girl named Brittany, who introduced me to my actual soulmate and best friend, Alex. Al took me for ice cream and we decided to throw a party at my apartment. I put on a pink striped Juicy Couture dress (not even sure how that ended up in my closet) and Alex invited the hottest baseball player from her high school and his friends. This boy showed up at my front door empty handed, one friend, and looking like a damn ken doll. He proceeded to sit in my favorite chair like a king and brag about what an incredible baseball player he was. I wasn’t seeing it. 

I played along until they looked in my fridge for food, but as an extremely broke college student I didn’t have much to offer. They complained that I didn’t have ice cream or any good snacks. So I kicked them out. 

Two weeks later I was drunk at a far more successful house party. I ended up making out with ken doll in a closet. One week later he took me on our first date with his "perfect" family and I was in a relationship by the end of the night. Four years later we were engaged so he could move in with me. At 24 I was married. At 26 I asked for a divorce, but was convinced I should keep trying. 

At 29 I walked out with a carry-on suitcase, moved into my parent’s guest room in a place I swore I’d never come back to, and started my life over. 

I thought I’d be married with kids by 30. That’s what I was told would lead to a fulfilled life for a woman. As a kid, I dreamed of being a business woman who traveled the world. I didn’t think twice about kids or a husband. It didn’t mean I didn’t want them, it just meant those would be bonuses in my life. I changed the desire I had felt in my soul since I was a kid in order to fit what I thought would make others more comfortable. What I was supposed to do. 

Occasionally, I feel delusional for believing I could build a company and impact people on a global scale. That sounds insane. Wasn’t Steve Jobs insane? And what about Jeff Besos? Mike Tyson, off his rocker.  Serena Williams at 3 years old dedicated her life to tennis, a sport that represented everything she wasn’t, and she conquered it. Well me too. I want to be off my rocker. I want to enter a space not meant for people like me and I want to leave my mark on the world. 

The point is you were given a dream and gifts that make you the perfect person to fulfill that dream. Your journey could inspire others and it could change lives. All you have to do is live authentically and continue to chase it. Because in my experience, I lived miserably until I didn’t. Now I live facing challenges, growing, and building a life that even when I fail, I’m incredibly proud of. 

So don’t be embarrassed about that dream in your heart. Don’t get discouraged when following it is harder than you imagined. Chase it anyway. Grow from the challenges. Don’t resist yourself and your gifts. Live authentically because who you are is exactly what the world needs. 

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