Do it scared.
Do it tired.
Do it messy.
It won’t be perfect at first, it shouldn’t be. You’ll fall on your face and you’ll learn how to pick yourself back up. You’ll get rejected, probably a couple times, it just builds character. You’ll learn hard but valuable lessons.
You only grow by doing. Action is the only remedy to that anxiety you feel. Action is the only thing that can answer the “what ifs” you torture yourself with. Action is the only thing that can answer that feeling you have that says you were meant to do more.
You’ll never be ready. There will never be a time that the stars have aligned perfectly and all of your circumstances are exactly right in order for you to take the next step.
That moment never comes, not because it doesn’t exist. It never comes because we are all so wrapped up in our heads. Overthinking what we feel, what we want, what others feel, what they want, what we’re supposed to do. It’s all just distractions. The only way you can get an answer is by asking it. The only way you can achieve a goal is by taking the steps that will get you there. Action is the only way to move forward. It’s the only way to grow. You have to be brave enough to take it.
Vince Lombardi said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” That’s true and taking the shot can feel overwhelming, you’ll likely overthink it. I do. So, I’m also telling you, that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t see as well. We have to be brave enough to take the shot, but we also have to be present enough to SEE the shot.
Here are some hard truths - feelings are fleeting and our perception of reality is more often than not, skewed based on our personal emotions and experiences. We build an elaborate story in our minds based on simple real life facts. That’s perception. She doesn’t hate you, she was having a bad day, you just happened to be in her path. She didn’t post that story on her instagram to get your attention, she just liked her outfit. It doesn’t define her. It doesn’t give you any inside information on her. You have ZERO context, but you’ve made an assumption. Based on a platform designed to distract us from reality. How about this one - he was trying to make a move, you missed it because you’re caught up in your head. You wished you would have said that ONE thing, but you were distracted or emotional in the moment.
Here’s the solution - get out of your head, into your body and the moment in front of you. So you can SEE the shot you need to take. The best lesson I’ve learned is to take things face value. If she didn’t say she’s mad - she’s not. If you think she is - ask. If she says no - take that answer face value. If she lied - that’s not your responsibility. Take ease in that and let the space clear for more important things. If he’s not texting you back - that’s your answer. If he’s stringing you along with no action - confront him. If you’re into him - tell him. If you lose him, it clears space for you to act on other things. There’s a chance you might open up the opportunity for a deeper connection. A chance you won’t know exists if you don’t take action.
We focus so much on how people will perceive us, how they feel, and if they will like us. Who cares. You can’t control how people perceive you, so why are you trying to? Do you like you? How do you feel? You’re wasting all this energy on things you can’t control. If you settle into the moment you can act. If you can see the shot and you’re brave enough to take it, even when the circumstances aren’t perfect, you’ll win no matter what. It will give you an answer. And good or bad, that answer will lead you to your next step. It will clear space. Free up energy. Teach you how resilient you are. And eventually lead you to the thing you didn’t know you needed far more than the thing you thought you wanted.
From my experience, that’s how life goes. It’s messy, and it should be. You’ll get tired and you’ll want to give up. But you don’t let anything stop you, not even your own fear. And when you get to the end, you should be able to say you showed up fully for every experience. And with time you conquered every challenge and made the most of every day you were blessed enough to receive. You showed up as your authentic self, you took action, and eventually it led you to a life you could be proud of. A legacy you had the courage to leave behind.